A little bit about the illness currently ruling my life.
For as long as I can remember I've suffered with migraines, I don't mean headaches, I mean actual migraines. Incase you don't know the difference, I'll most probably blog about that sometime in the near future.
When I was 11/12, I was actually taken into hospital with suspected appendicitis, which actually turned out to be an abdominal migraine.
Abdominal migraine
One memory I have of secondary school about a teacher I otherwise liked, was a comment he made in front of my whole class, which partly left me feeling silly, but also left me laughing at his stupidity. Long story short, I'd been off for a few days & when he found out the reason, his response was "so you have a headache in your stomach? A headache is in your head, not your abdomen."
Yes sir, I know a headache is in year head, but you clearly don't know that a migraine isn't a headache.
I can't quite remember when it was that my abdominal migraines progressed into your 'ordinary' migraines, but that was sometime in my teens. They weren't too often, but when they happened, I'd be stuck in a dark room, praying for them to end. For a while after the progression, I would sometimes get an abdominal migraine too. Apparently abdominal migraines are more common in children, & now I very rarely get pain in my abdomen when I have a migraine, so I'll agree with that. (Migraines are very under researched, so a lot of the medical information isn't necessarily that true to sufferers.)
Chronic migraine.
The word 'chronic' changes everything. For me, chronic means symptoms of some sort 24/7. Yes, even when I'm sleeping.
March 2013, I'd had what I thought was just a bad headache for a few days, until after work one evening when things got a lot worse & I ended up at the walk in centre late at night.
I now know bright lights & computer screens are massive triggers for me- I work in a supermarket on checkouts, so this makes perfect sense as to why things got so bad at the end of a shift.
Diagnosis
After an emergency appointment at the head & neck unit, with lots of nasty diseases being mentioned, an emergency mri for a suspected brain tumour & several tests, I was sent the to the neurology department where I was diagnosed with Chronic migraine with aura.
By this point I had fallen pregnant with my now 19 month old little boy, so treatment of any sort was put on hold. I spent the whole of my pregnancy signed off work, with many days spent in bed.
I had to quit college, which meant I didnt meet the conditions for my offer to study psychology at a top university.
I even got a migraine in the early stages of labour, which was absolutely awful & the vomiting dehydrated me to the point that I was put on a drip to have 2 bags of iv fluids. I much preferred the later stages of labour, once the migraine had gone & my energy was back :)
I had to quit college, which meant I didnt meet the conditions for my offer to study psychology at a top university.
I even got a migraine in the early stages of labour, which was absolutely awful & the vomiting dehydrated me to the point that I was put on a drip to have 2 bags of iv fluids. I much preferred the later stages of labour, once the migraine had gone & my energy was back :)
Most of my maternity leave (post birth) was relatively migraine free, I assumed I was over that terrible phase of my life. Little did I know, it'd be back, a whole lot worse.
February 2015
Off I went to the doctors, struggling to cope with how restricted my life was. I left the doctors with my first lot of preventative medication, as recommended by my neurologist & a sick note.
The medication was awful, the side effects were unbearable, back I went less than a week later, to be sent out with a different medication. This went on for some time, each time being signed off work even longer & each medication either not helping or having horrendous side effects.
My doctor finally decided something needed to be done, I can barely look after myself, let alone my little boy. He sent me back to the head & neck unit, pointless, they couldn't help me last time.
After this, a referral was made to a specialist at addenbrookes, but I was warned I could be waiting up to a year.
After this, a referral was made to a specialist at addenbrookes, but I was warned I could be waiting up to a year.
July 2015, the ambulance.
I won't bother going into detail, but basically, I woke up, home alone with Cian, quite poorly. I phoned 111 for advice & an ambulance was with me within minutes.
I was taken into the major department of a&e with stroke like symptoms. I've always been scared of hospitals & I had to go in the ambulance all on my own, I've never been so proud of myself.
I was just starting to feel quite down & lonely when Sean walked round the corner, I didn't even know he'd left work. I've never been so happy to see him!
We spent the morning in a&e, followed by the afternoon in acu.
More tests were carried out & I was told I'd be back within 2 weeks for an emergency mri, just to rule out a couple of serious things. (the mri still hasnt happened, just one of the ways in which ive been messed around. The list is long, unfortunately)
If the mri comes back clear, it'll be official that I'm now suffering with hemiplegic migraines, also.
Hemiplegic migraines
These are possibly the nastiest of the lot, for me. While the pain is nowhere near as bad & sometimes non existent, the temporary paralysis is scary & completely debilitating. I'll sit there & tell my arm/leg to move & it just won't do it & I'll be stuck & my brain just won't send the right signals. I usually end up stressed & crying, but I guess in time I'll find coping mechanisms.
Going private.
It's been a very long 2 & a half years, & many things I should be enjoying/doing, I just can't. Maybe if I hadn't been messed around so much, I might be living a relatively nomal life by now, who knows.
After the ambulance incident & things getting worse (I've also recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety & severe depression, which is massively to do with this), my extremely supportive mum decided she cannot see me live like this anymore & so we're going private!!
I have my first consultation on the 13th August & I've never been so hopeful for anything in my entire life!
If you've got to this point, I just want to thank you for reading this extremely long & possibly boring (I tried not to ramble or go into too much detail) blog post xxx
